28/1/83

Not feeling 100% just now but wanted to finish out the week on a positive, constructive note. Work has been a “no surprize” affair except, I finally got off my duff and visited with Jeff Venner over at the Dept of Labor. He is a really on the ball guy and sounds as though he has got good ideas. I think he will use me and I am trying to ‘temper’ my excitement. I remember feeling optimistic about Mr. Gaynes too. I still have a lot I could do in the Ministry of Finance but I have been stymied for now. I did see Mr. Gaynes on Mon. He told me to back, which I did and he put me off and said he would see me. He never came. I have spent nearly all week sitting here (save Tuesday) hoping for him to come by.. No luck. Mr Venner seems ambitious enough to keep me busy. He has two people in Manpower & Training that need training themselves. He said something about starting an employment bureau and also send his new staff out for training in Jamaica or Guyana. In all, I basically begged him to have me do something. Monday we’ll meet for a longer period of time so we can do a more thorough needs assessment. In all cases, there is a glimmer of hope that my idleness will end. I’m sure looking forward to a change of pace.

Got a lot of letters this week (earlier) and have spent the balance trying to answer them all. It certainly is good to get mail from home. I can just picture the house in SLC and the front room/kitchen people sprawled comfortably around the house, relaxing after a day of work. Though sometimes painful, those memories are a catylyst for me to ‘hang in there’. I look forward to the reunion at Christmas, but also to how this year is going to unfold. My purpose here is still a blank slate. For the nearly two months we have been in SVG I have done little but get a garden going. I haven’t changed anyone or anything. I don’t think I’ve made a difference but then again, How will I know? The people of the street aren’t as intimidating but they still seem to react the same. I feel different but how has that influenced the state of affairs in SVG? I don’t know. Sometimes, I don’t care. For two reasons: God put me in SVG for a purpose. One that perhaps I’ll never know. 2 I’m learning so much that at least I will have benefited from being here (though I feel a bit guilty and selfish) But it also humbles me. Even more than my two months of idleness. Because I may not, even though I work my buns off, make any perceptible difference in life in SVG.