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Feb 11 1983

Friday! Afternoon yet. I'm glad to be done with this week. A new low in productivity. It's such an anxiety producing no-win situation here. If I remain here in my office & just read and keep myself otherwise occupied, I become anxious out of my guilt and not “doing my job”, whatever that is. It's also boring! But to change the situation, that is, do something, I need to risk. To risk to cause anxiety, so to change from inactivity to activity also causes anxiety. I obviously over-estimated my workload even though I didn't think I'd be doing much to start with. I'm not doing much, I'm doing nothing. I operate in a completely open system here. I can work or not work at my convenience. No one has told me what to do (darn it) so I create my own situation. I'm needed but “temporarily” superfluous. Gads, I just wish that I had more to do. My research for the Manpower report is crawling along. But I will get to attend 4, ½ day training seminars which will at least change the pace a bit. And I will get to meet some higher-ups which may facilitate other projects over the long run.

 I'm looking forward to this weekend. Deb and I hope to go with the Bienamens to Villa tomorrow a.m. and do some snorkeling. We also hope to attend a cricket match in the afternoon. Sunday, we plan to climb Sufriere with some other PCVs. We need the exercise and need to get out. I'm constantly hatching plans to go somewhere for Easter weekend. I know that some charters are available to B-Dos, Grenada and Trinidad. Our 6-month reunion is supposed to be in St Lucia so it's a low priority to go there even though it may have a charter to it. I'd like to go north to Antigua (a Lutheran Church is rumored to be there) or Saint Kitts/Nevis.We’ll have to see. At least this weekend and next week will be busy, somewhat.

Noticed in my last few letters stateside that I talked a lot about my return travel arrangements. The need & desire to go home hasn't been reduced in intensity, just in frequency and duration. I ran into a Mormon missionary from Kuna (Elder Manning) Idaho. I was actually happy to see him! He had that distinctive Western US accent and I could have talked with him for hours. No doubt we'll have him and his “brother” over for dinner in the next 2 months. Just to cure a little homesickness.

I've been preoccupied with my 10th High School reunion for some bizarre reason. It's next year and most assuredly, I'll miss it unless Deb and I manage to save $15,000EC between now and then. we're already going to Salt Lake City for Christmas ($5,000EC). Europe after COS ($6,000EC). A flight to Chicago would cost at least $4,000EC. But oh how I'd love to see where the rest of my class of 1974 have ended up. Maybe, just maybe, we'll find the money. There's always that possibility.